22 weeks, 5 weeks + 2 days post rupture
Thank you to every one who offered to send me tiny baby outfits or who found places to order them online. I have two (one a 500g size and one a 750g size) on order from the UK and a few of you are sending things along in the mail. Hopefully they will all arrive soon, so I can relax about having something for the baby to wear.
Yesterday I watched the movie Rabbit Hole. You may remember that Nicole Kidman was up for an Academy Award for her performance, although I don't think the movie was otherwise recognized. It should have been. It was wonderful. Even though it was about a couple who lost an older child than a baby (I think he was about 3), I could relate to so many of the emotions they felt, and the situations they found themselves in. Especially the conversation that Nicole Kidman has with her on-screen mother in the basement that ends with "it's what you have instead of your son". So true. See it, if you can.
As for me, I'm trucking a long. I'm feeling the baby move a lot more yesterday and today and I haven't leaked since Aidan's Day that I can tell. This makes me both happy and nervous. Happy: "Yeah I haven't leaked, baby is moving, things must be okay in there!" and Nervous: "This is about the same amount of time between my last leaking episodes (9 days), so will it be today? Tonight? Tomorrow? Will I lose a lot? If I leak, will the baby get trapped in some uncomfortable or compromising position? Quick baby! Get your head down in the biggest pocket of fluid and tuck in your arms & legs!"
I've also started to feel "Braxton Hicks" like tightenings of my uterus on occasion. These seem to occur if the baby is moving a lot or if I'm changing positions. Like I'll roll over, or lay down, or get up and I feel it tighten. It often happens too if I REALLY have to pee. Usually it lasts less than 30 seconds and doesn't hurt exactly...but it makes me VERY VERY NERVOUS. My cervix has shortened from 3.2cm at 16 weeks to 2.5cm at my last scan...so I do NOT need any sort of cramping or contractions to make things worse. Also, this is what started to happen in the few weeks before I delivered Aidan. I started to get more and more 'Braxton Hicks' type tightenings (could have been weak contractions, irritation of the uterus from all the bleeding I had, or the start of an infection...who the hell knows at this point?). So when this happened a few times yesterday it drags my hopes down. I'll mention it to the doctor on Tuesday, and inquire about the possibility of p17 shots...but I don't know with all the other things compromising my pregnancy if they'll go for that.
But, must look at the positives. I'm 22 weeks. It's Saturday. It's a nice day. I might even go outside in my backyard for the first time this year...and I'm taking my baby with me.
Did anyone with pPROM out there get Braxton Hicks like pains after rupturing? Did it signify anything in retrospect?
I'm still hoping beyond hope for you that your little bean can hang in there just a little while longer...
ReplyDeleteAre you feeling differently? Although you're still dealing with grief from Aidan and are still scared beyond belief, I'm hearing something different in your words. Your logical and level-headed about what "could" happen, yet I'm sensing something else. Hope? I'm not sure. With all that you're dealing with, you sure as hell sound strong!
I never feel I have much to add but I am following your story and keeping everything so tightly crossed for Acorn and your beautiful family.
ReplyDeleteWishing you much peace and gentleness.
I am from the UK by the way so if you need anything sent directly in terms of small baby outfits then please do ask. It would be an honour. My direct email is abbie@angelava.co.uk. I know some companies can be a pain about shipping internationally.
I totally agree with Kelly...you sound hopeful according to what you have written. You sound like you are enjoying the time you have and taking it just minute by minute, day by day. This is impressive given what you have been through. Wishing you all the best, Emily. To you and little Acorn. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteYou have made it five weeks already! Just think, only two weeks til you hit 24 weeks. You can make it! I can't imagine how you must feel and I pray for you daily. I believe after making it five weeks post rupture that you will get two more weeks, if not more! Prayers for you and acorn.
ReplyDeleteI never had any Braxton Hicks after rupturing (but who the heck really knows in these odd ball situations they find themselves in). I think I had ruptured up to a week before delivery and it wasnt until the day before I had Caroline that my back hurt so bad. I thought I was getting the flu. They said that I was feeling bad from the infection and the back pain was my body just really confused that I wasn't able to feel it in my uterus area.
ReplyDeleteAt what point will they let you be on bedrest at the hospital so they can really monitor you??
Think of you and your babies today!
With a second pregnancy you DO normally feel the Braxton Hicks contractions much earlier than with the first. For me with each following pregnancy I felt them earlier and yet only had one preemie, but that was due to a blood clot in-between the cervix and placenta but earlier Braxton Hicks in itself is not worrisome.
ReplyDelete22 weeks, 5 weeks + 2 days post rupture-
ReplyDeleteFANTASTIC! You're like the little engine that could: I think I can, I think I can!
FX for you and your little butter bean!
Two more weeks....two more weeks....two more weeks. Keeping my fingers crossed you get there and beyond!
ReplyDeleteI am relieved to hear your baby is moving!! Keep fighting, little one!
ReplyDelete