Ok, I lied I'm back

Day 6, I'm pretty sure.

I just can't stay away from here. I'm feeling a little more comfortable at home, although I wish I didn't have to be so far from Kaia. I get a little nervous at night being away from her and my mind starts to go to "if" rather than "when" and then I get teary and upset. It's hard being a post babylost, post traumatic pregnancy, premature baby mom and dad. We feel a little fragile.

But, on to the update.

First of all, Kaia is doing really well. She's on CPAP, breathing room air (no extra O2), she's got her umbilical lines out and is working up on feeds. It made me so happy yesterday when the nurse said "I don't think she'll be here long". I was thinking that too as an NICU nurse, but it was nice to hear someone else say it. She's currently in a level 3 NICU, and doesn't really need that level of care so they might transfer her to a hospital closer to home, maybe once she's off CPAP. That would be much more convenient, although I've really liked all the nurses she's had and would be sad to leave them behind. I've got to hold her twice now, once 'skin to skin' and that was wonderful. Her skin's so soft and I love her little noises and how content she seems lying on me. It made my uterus contract like a bitch afterwards though...further proof mommy and baby are biologically so connected.

Unfortunately, we also got some terrible news last night. My grandmother, who already suffers from poor eyesight, poor hearing and Alzheimer's, fell and broke her hip. I was so upset for her and for my dad last night. My Dad just got through visiting his daughter at the hospital, his granddaughter is still in the hospital and now so is his mother...and not even the SAME hospital. My Grama has a hard time dealing with 'new' circumstances and the hospital isn't a place she's been very much until now. She's currently stable and awaiting surgery. I was glad to hear she's not in a lot of pain, and she's sleeping a lot, so at least she's not aware of what's going on. It just feels like another "Oh God, what now??!!" element to add to our lives. Plus the summer is the one time of the year that my grandmother probably enjoys the most since my parents take her to the cottage on weekends. Now she'll be hospitalized and in rehab for who knows how long.

*Sigh*

I have other fun stuff to write about later, but that might be tomorrow...or the next day.