Soldier On

26 weeks + 5 days, 10 weeks post rupture, day 23 at my parent's place.

So I've been ruptured 2 days longer than I lasted with Aidan. Quite a milestone. At our OB appointment today Dr. Eeyore said that when I ruptured 10 weeks ago he never would have predicted that I would last this long. My response was that "well, if I'd been born a few decades earlier I wouldn't be here either based on my heart condition". You just never know.

Since I'm now well past the point of viability, have had steroids, and am still pregnant, Dr. Eeyore seemed a little more positive today. He was happy to see that blood flow through the cord is normal, fluid level is low at 5.3, but at least I don't have anhydramnious (no fluid). Acorn continues to grow and is in the 40th percentile for gestational age, weighing about 834 grams according to the formula they use to calculate weight. My cervix is long and closed and measures at 2.4cm. Baby is still breech so I'm probably looking at a C-section whenever we deliver. Hopefully my uterus will be big enough whenever that happens that I can have a transverse incision rather than a vertical one. If you have a vertical incision in your uterus they will never let you have a VBAC. You will forever need C-sections for all future children (a concern if we ever need/want to do this again). At this point I'm not opposed to a C-section, but it IS major surgery after 10 (or 12, or 14?) weeks of bed rest, on a high risk cardiac patient and I fear I'm looking at a rough recovery.

While I'm content with the outcome of our appointment today, one thing that they keep finding bothers me. Acorn's head is kind of a funny shape. It's called dolichocephaly. Basically when you look at the baby's head from the top it isn't round. It's oval shaped. Quite oval shaped. The diameter across is measuring at 21 weeks, but the overall circumference is within the normal range. So the head is long and narrow. This is likely due to prolonged low fluid levels.

The doctors don't seem terribly concerned about it and have said that it can go back to normal...but I'm afraid Acorn will look funny when he or she is born. I mean it's not a huge deal in the long term if it can be fixed or will grow back to normal...but what if there is no long term? What if we only have a short time with Acorn? It gave me such pleasure that even though Aidan was small and very quickly dead, at least he was cute in a way that other people could appreciate. What if Acorn is odd looking and the only photos we have to show people don't show a 'normal' looking baby? It's a small worry compared to our other massive worries (lungs!!! cord compression!!! infection!!! prematurity!!! C-section!!!), but anything else that is 'abnormal' at this point always seems like too much to handle.

And so we soldier on.

Note: Yes, dolichocephaly is the shape that normally preemies develop after laying on the sides of their heads for weeks/months. I remember this shape well from my years in the NICU. However, I don't remember any of the babies coming INTO the NICU with that narrow shaped head. They all started out with round heads and then over time morphed into dolichocephalic baby heads. I'm just hoping it's not SO severe or noticeable that it makes Acorn look funny.