I completely get why people throughout history have looked at the stars, nature, weather patterns, behaviour of animals, and many other everyday occurrences to try to for tell the future. I mean who wouldn't want to get a sneak peak at what was in store for themselves or their loved ones? Especially if good stuff was about to come your way? I consider myself a rational person, but even I read my horoscope on occasion.
So, I'm not quite sure how to take this piece of info:
Aidan was due August 15 2010. This was an 'extra special' due date for me, because it was my grandmother's birthday who died almost 4 year ago now. She would have been 89 in 2010 were she alive. I remember lying in Emerg after my 1st bleed at 9 weeks with Aidan thinking "this baby can't die...he/she is due on Nana's birthday! That was supposed to be a good sign!"
This new embryo's (is it bad I cannot yet dare to even type the word 'baby' in relation to this pregnancy yet) due date is September 1st 2011. It is my other (living) grandmother's birthday. She will be 86 years old.
I wish I could see it as a sign one way or the other, but I just can't anymore.
I also have my first ultrasound scheduled for this coming Thursday. You know you're kind of screwed up after babylostness when you schedule your 1st ultrasound this way:
"Let's see...they've offered me Monday, Wednesday or Thursday appointment times. Since I can't have the Friday, which would be most convenient as I'm off work that day, let's schedule it for the Thursday. That way if it's bad news I'll just call in a personal day at work and then have the rest of the weekend to recover before going back to work Monday...yeah....that will work".
No thoughts go to "Hey, Monday??!! Gee can I get in first thing in the morning??!! I'm so excited!!!"
Practicalities people. But we're keeping our fingers crossed all the same. Just in case that might help.
Do you hold to any superstitions? Which ones and why?
My first instinct upon reading this was that Aidan shared a date with your grandma that had passed away. And, unfortunately, he did, too. This baby shares the date with a living grandma...therefore, this baby is meant to live...and thrive. :) Thinking of you and hoping Thursday brings only joy.
ReplyDeleteMy due date was 14 Aug, 2008. My mother in laws birthday. A week earlier is my grandmother's birthday, a week later my dad. I figured one way or another, Hope had a good chance of sharing a birthday with a loved one. Except she was stillborn on 19 Aug 2008, so like you I stopped believing in omens and good signs as for me they all amounted to squat.
ReplyDeleteI like Liz's comment above though, and hopefully that is the good sign to take out of all of this.
xo
Good luck at the ultrasound! I know how scary that first one can be. I am really hoping that yours goes way better than mine did.
ReplyDeleteI found out I was pregnant with Cub on Jacob's due date and I thought that was a sign that Jacob was watching over us and would make this baby live and be OK. So much for that. I don't know what it will be like the next time.
I like Liz's comment too, a very nice way to think of it and it made me feel even more hopeful for this baby :)
I don't know when to book future ultrasounds. I could book them on days that are already "bad". I found out that Jacob died on a Monday and I had my first ultrasound with cub on a Monday, so that worked out well. Another day of the week wasn't tarnished by something. But then I'll be scared to book them on a "bad" day in case it "makes" us get bad news again. Life used to be so much simpler.
I remember with my first pregnancy being excited that my due date was on my dad's birthday. I took it as a good sign because I had been born on my mother's father's birthday. So it was like history repeating itself.
ReplyDeleteBut history didn't repeat itself. My baby died.
I tend to hold onto superstitions that foretell "bad" things. That way I am pleasantly surprised if things turn out OK. I've gotten to the point of wishing that a sign of good fortune could be true - but never, ever trusting it.
I hope your ultrasound goes well - I had to chuckle a bit when you described deciding which day to have the ultrasound. I've done that kind of decision-making so many times. I totally get it.