A thank you letter to my Heart

Dear Heart,

I heard yesterday from the doctor that you did well during our pregnancy. You showed no signs of failing, no signs of tiring, no signs of 'acting up' or getting us into trouble. Although you needed to beat faster which sometimes scared me, and I did feel a little more tired than usual, you responded to Aidan's growing needs wonderfully. You pumped the blood to our body and to our baby in a way that allowed him to grow and me to remain healthy.

So I just wanted to say "Thank You". Thank you and "I'm sorry". Why "I'm sorry"? I'm sorry, because I never put much faith in you. Heart, you were formed differently. So differently that you would not have continued to beat unless doctors stepped in to fix you. Because of this, you scare me. I have always been afraid to count on you, that despite the many years of faithful service you have provided, I fear one day you will just stop keeping up with the rest of our organs. You will go AWOL, you will quit, you will fail to show up to the big game, dressed and ready to play. I'm scared to count on you, fearing you will throw in the towel and say "naw, I just don't feel like it..."

But Heart, I owe you an apology. You stepped up. You did what I demanded of you. Aidan got good blood flow. Aidan grew. Despite the challenges of our pregnancy (and there were many), you kept up. You never failed, you didn't let me down. You stayed strong during our natural birth (and yes I know that was difficult). You may have required a bit of oxygen and fluids afterwards, but no matter, you kept right on pumping. By the next week you allowed me to climb hills and go for long walks. The doctor did not feel that you contributed to Aidan's early birth. She felt that if it had been up to you Heart, Aidan would have stayed with us much longer.

So thank you Heart. I must learn to have more faith in you. I must remember that you are stronger than I imagine, tougher than I need, more trustworthy than I have ever given you credit for. I hope that this experience will bring us closer, that you and I will continue to work well together, and that it leads to a beautiful new friendship. Thank you Heart...I appreciate your continued dedication and service. I hope that one day we will be able to work together on a new baby. One who we will feel strong and capable of physically nurturing, who will be able to grow inside for many more weeks, and who will be born healthy and capable of living. I love you and thank you my Heart, you are a truly remarkable organ.