Monday, December 27, 2010

Que Sera Sera

Que Sera, Sera...Whatever will be will be...The future's not ours to see...Que Sera Sera.

I find myself humming this tune over the past few days. Just to keep myself calm. I cannot know what will happen. I can only do what I can. Eat well. Rest often. Take vitamins.

Did that the last time too.

It doesn't help that I'm currently working through my second cold of the season. I was sick only a month ago with something similar and now I got to cough and hack my way through the Christmas festivities. (I'm chalking it up to the snotty nosed children I look after at work...) I would LOVE to take some Tylenol, just to make the pounding in my head go away, and I know it's considered 'safe'...but I just don't want to risk it. I remember that about my last pregnancy. One day I didn't care what meds I took or what I ate, and the next day I'm checking the apple cider to make sure it's pasteurized and avoiding anything that looks remotely like a 'soft' cheese.

I hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings with my Christmas post. I know I probably did, and I'm sorry. I know that as much as you might be 'happy' for me, it hurts to see someone else get what you want. I know because I've felt it. I considered starting a new blog, but I just can't. I like it here, in Aidan's space. I'm home when I'm here and I'm not sure I have the energy to maintain two blogs. Plus this blog chronicles my life, and this is a big step. I don't want to leave my little support system that I've built up here (all 69 of you who follow along!). I'm so grateful for all the well wishes I received on my last post. We (obviously?) aren't telling anyone we know in real life yet...but it was nice to share my good news with those in cyber space. With Aidan I didn't do enough of sharing the good moments, so I hope that soon I will be able to work up the courage to share it with our immediate family and close friends.

But don't worry, this isn't going to turn into a shiny, happy pregnancy blog. I wish it could...but it won't. The next (hopefully??!!) 9 months are going to be stressful, even if all goes well. Our life in 2009 and 2010 was such a roller coaster, I'm hoping that 2011 resembles the graceful swan ride on a clear sunny day.

So all aboard...hopefully no life jackets will be required.


  1. I am so happy for you! I'm jumping for joy for you!!!! I can't wait to follow along on this new journey of yours!

    I have to know...Did you get the news on Christmas? This really is such a magical time to get the news.

  2. I went for a blood pregnancy test on Dec this point I was pretty sure I wasn't pregnant because I took a few of those Clear Blue tests the day before and one was a 'possible negative' and the other was a 'definate negative'. I got to the doctor's office in the afternoon, and they said they wouldn't be able to get the results to me in time for the end of the day...and they were closed Dec 24th for the holidays. Not to reopen until Dec 28th. So, because I'm taking progesterone supplements, I knew I would have to test at home again just to make sure it was negative before I stopped the progesterone. So early Christmas Eve morning I tested again (at 6:30am). There was a very faint pink line so I woke my husband up and said "I need your eyes!!" His reponse was "they aren't working right now". So he stumbled into the bathroom and we looked at the test...he could see the line too. We decided that we'd do a digital one the next day, just to make SURE and that's the picture I posted on Christmas day. So I guess 'technically' I found out Christmas Eve morning...but felt a little more confident Christmas morning. Then I did another 'line' test on the 26th and the line was darker than it was on Christmas Eve so that made me feel even better. I'll get my blood results from the doctor's office tomorrow.

  3. Another one who wants to say a huge congratulations. May you have an uneventful and peaceful nine months. With much love.

  4. Such lovely news for this time of year. Willing this little one to stay.

  5. I am seriously so excited for you! I hope my comment on your last post didn't make you feel guilty - I know at times it was hard for me to see BFPs, but honestly, it was more because I have a lot of friends and family that know about that blog and I didn't want them to find out. :)

  6. What wonderful Christmas news. Hoping for nine peaceful months with no life jackets required. xo