While we were on vacation we missed a phone call from a friend of ours who lives in Singapore. He moved to Asia years ago for a job. He ended up meeting a woman who was also from our area of Canada and they got married in October of last year when they were living in Hong Kong.
Anyway...he calls every so often just to shoot the shit and tell us about what going on in his life. He's a nice guy and it's too bad him and his wife don't live closer. We keep hoping they will move back.
However, when my husband told me that M. had left a message on his cell phone AND on our home phone while we were on vacation my immediate thought was oh that's nice...bet his wife is pregnant. Then two seconds later my husband said out loud "bet his wife is pregnant". Amazing how our thoughts just go to that these days. This friend has never expressed an interest in having kids...and I don't know his wife well enough to say if she is dying to reproduce...but I'm still about 80% sure that when we talk to this friend that is what he's going to tell us.
Which then of course brings up the question of what do we say? He knows about what happened with Aidan...but he probably doesn't get how hard it is for us hear about other people's pregnancies at this point. I wish we could know in advance before actually talking to him if that is what he is calling us to announce. Because at this point it takes practice to have the proper amount of awe and enthusiasm in our voice.
I need to practice saying: "wow, M. that's great...when is she due?"
Instead of: "DAMN IT...seriously? Oh man...this just gets better and better doesn't it?"
I need to work up to: "Are you guys going to have the baby in Singapore?"
Instead of: "Are you guys going to come back here to torture us with your healthy pregnancy and adorable newborn?"
I need to work on the proper pitch for my: "Congratulations!"
Instead of what naturally comes out: *crying*...*sob*...."Wish our son was here to play with your new baby".
There is one way we might be able to find out in advance if this friend and his wife are indeed calling us to announce a pregnancy. M. and my husband were both good friends with a third guy J. We could just call J. and ask if he's heard from M. This would be the easiest thing to do, except that it would mean confessing what we are afraid we are going to hear. Not so hard right? Easier to hear it from the non-pregnant person. Easier to confess to him that it's hard to hear about others' babies at this point...except of course that J. is the proud new daddy to baby Casey.
The conversation would have to go something like this:
Us: So have you heard from M. recently? We were just wondering why he was calling us while we were away on vacation? We are afraid to call him back because it's like a knife in our guts when we hear about other people's pregnancies and babies...oh and congrats on your new little bundle of joy...we'll be over to visit her any day now.
Super. I feel like I'm living in a war zone. Minefields galore. Duck and cover people...
Have you had to deal with other people's pregnancies or babies since you became babylost? How did it go? Were you able to keep your mask intact and your voice modulated...or did the cracks show through?