Saturday, June 25, 2011

Did I ever mention how much I hate the hospital?

30 weeks, 13 weeks + 2 days post rupture, day 2 in hospital (again)

Did I? I can't remember if somewhere in my blog I might have mentioned how much I hate being in hospital. So let me say it again in case it got missed the first time: I FUCKING HATE BEING IN HOSPITAL.

The hospital is the most crappy place on earth to be and these are only a few of the reasons:
1. Nurses who unplug your ELECTRIC bed to plug in their automatic blood pressure machine. Then they either a) don't plug your bed back in so it will no longer go up and down or raise your head or your feet making it impossible to sit up and eat breakfast while reclining like you're SUPPOSED TO BE DOING because OH YEAH YOU'RE ON BED REST or b) they remember to plug the bed back an outlet that doesn't have power...causing similar results as above.

2. Nurses who repeatedly kick your (admittedly ugly) crocs out of the way when doing your monitoring. This makes it next to impossible to either a) find your ugly shoes under your bed without bending over (hello, pregnant and leaking = gushing while bending) and/or b) make it impossible to reach the same ugly shoes without stepping on the dirty hospital floor, making shoes kind of besides the point.

3. Having to explain to every Tom, Dick and Harry your ENTIRE (lengthy) medical history, dead son and all. Then having to listen to your mother explain nicely to the same person "no, this is not my first daughter's first child Aidan was our first grandchild". Duh?

4. Answering the same questions over and over and over again. Any cramping? No. Any bleeding? No. Any leaking? Yes (what the fuck do you think I'm here for?) Does the leaking have an odour? No. (Actually it does, funny enough, it smells like amniotic fluid). Any palpitations? No. Chest pain? No. Shortness of breath? No. (If I was having cardiac symptoms I'd be calling a frigging code on me).

5. Them wanting me to HAND OVER ALL MY medications so they can dole them out. Um...I HAVE been taking these medications every day, forever...I think I can manage just fine without your help. Plus last time I was here I actually had to REMIND you when my meds were due...not a huge vote of confidence in your favour. Why don't I just TELL you when I take them and you can mark it on my chart. K?

Oh and the BIGGEST piss off of all?

Although I spend 24 hours a day in a hospital, in an uncomfortable bed, FOR WHICH WE ARE PAYING $100 A DAY OUT OF POCKET for a private room so I don't lose my shit anymore than I already am...the doctors only see a need to have me on the fetal cardiac monitor for TWENTY MINUTES A DAY. In total. That's all. Never mind the other 23 hours and 40 minutes. Nothing will happen in those hours.

That's right folks. Although Dr. S. poo pooed my idea to do a doppler check from home either multiple times per day, or for longer periods of time (for let's say, oh, I don't know, 20 minute stretches)...instead I get to be here. Increasing my risk of infection. Decreasing my satisfaction. Increasing my stress. All for the pleasure of a 20 minute strip per day. At the low low cost of $100/day.


At least today is 30 weeks!!!! Can I get a holla' from the crowd??!!!


  1. Congrats on reaching 30 weeks! I know just how shitty the hospital can be (I just got realeased from a measly 2 day stint and I almost lost my shit) but you are doing what you have to do to get little Acorn here safe and sound and hopefully just a couple of weeks bigger!

    Lots of Love xoxox

  2. For that price you'd be better off staying at a nice hotel!

  3. 30 weeks! Yahoo! Maybe you can compile all the hospital insanity and write a book when you get out - which will be a bestseller and pay for all the hospital bills. That'd be cool.

  4. So happy you've made it to 30 weeks!! Can definitely see why you hate the hospital, though. Perhaps you could avoid #3 somewhat by printing up a summary of all the medical stuff. That's what I did with my stack of medical records and the doctors have really liked it. #5 would really set me off, too! And the 20 minute monitoring? That's horrible - isn't the whole POINT of being in hospital to have Acorn under heavy surveillance? So sorry you have to endure all of this, but hoping it will be SO worth it in the end!!

  5. 30 Weeks WOOHOOO!
    (makes me laugh to read about a nurse being annoyed by nurses. I am sooooo sorry and remember how UNfun it was being trapped there. Hang in there, as you know every day makes a big difference)

  6. Congrats on 30 weeks! I am so happy about that. I laughed a little at your description of being in the hospital. Especially because it is by a nurse, about nurses.

    It makes it pretty amazing when you do get a nurse who is careful about all those things.

    The 20 minute monitoring is crazy.

  7. Absolutely awesome for the 30 weeks! You forgot to mention that the nurses/kitchen staff/cleaning lady will invariably forget your door open so that everybody passing by and their running children can look in on you with morbid curiosity.

  8. HOLLA!!!!!!!
    Well shit you deserve a virgin margarita! The next time those PIA's kick your crocs under the bed (and PS I totally have the same issue when in hospital!) just look down and say- 'Oh I think you mistakenly kicked my shoes under the bed. Kindly pull them back out before I ram this call button where the sun don't shine. Thank you!'

  9. HOLLLAAAAA!!!!!!! Yay for 30 weeks! But geez, being in the hospital blows. I also hate it grosses me out in every way. I know it is because we are both nurses....we know....oh yes, we know HOW disgusting hospitals are. I wonder if you can fight with the doc for more monitoring. I would state my case just as you put here on the blog. Fight for your rights girl. Thinking of you guys!

  10. HOLLAA for 30 weeks! I agree with Annie about writing all the history down and just handing the sheet over when someone wants to make you go through it yet again. Hope they let you out of there on Monday.

  11. Yuck, yuck and yuck! Could you gently remind people about your Crocs, perhaps? Or, this may sound really stupid, but a bulleted list of your medical history? I HATE going over and over it ad nauseum and think I would rip out my hair if I were you.

    But hey...30 weeks!!!! 30 WEEKS!!! That's amazing!!

  12. HOLLAA!!

    I'm sorry the hospital situation is stressful, but so happy to see you at 30 weeks. Always thinking of you and Acorn.

  13. Your hospital sounds just ridiculous. I guess since you're there that means that there aren't any other viable options in the area? Fricking sucks ass. I'm so sorry. Hospital stays suck, but at least the hospital I was at was decent and did everything they could for us. I'm so sorry.

    But yay thirty weeks!

  14. Holla for 30 weeks!

    Boo hiss for the hospital! Wish they wouldn't kick your crocs away, that's super SUPER annoying. Also, I hate answering stupid questions (repeatedly) as well. I'm sure it's even worse when you're constantly doing it in-hospital.

    BTW, glad you enjoyed my cat throat slitting comment on Brandy's blog. I'm cool like that, ha :)

  15. The hospital situation sounds horrible and beyond stressful. I'm sorry. So happy to hear you are 30 weeks! Thinking of you and Acorn.

  16. I am so happy that you have made the 30 week mark, i have been following your blog for ages, i am so glad that you are ok besides your stuff going missing and from bad nurses

  17. At least you're 30 weeks!!! Unfortunately hospital isn't being a surprise; you knew you'd hate it - and you are. Sometimes it sucks to be right, right? I hope you can retain some sanity in all this.

  18. Oh man I'm so frustrated on your behalf! You should really raise some of these things with them because it is just not good enough, for all that money you are spending and given how long you have to spend there. The monitoring especially. I just don't see how that is good enough.
    Well done for making it to 30 weeks though. That's just so awesome. Every day is another day and you're doing remarkably well, all things considered.

  19. Holla!! I am so glad that you have made it to 30 weeks, so amazing! But I am so sorry that you are back in the hospital, ridiculous for a 20 minute time frame of monitoring!! Boo.