Doppler

I'm 9 weeks and 5 days. With Aidan I had my first 'big' bleed at 9 weeks and 4 days (as opposed to the 'minor' bleeding I'd been having since week 3). Both Brian and I huff a *teeny weeny* sigh of relief when yesterday passed without rushing to Emerg.

During Aidan's pregnancy Brian rented a doppler, which I used every couple of days as the pregnancy progressed just to make sure Aidan was still alive. After the bad news, I was sure one day I'd put that wand on my belly and hear...silence. It never happened (which I'm SO grateful for), but because he didn't move much (because he had no fluid...so so so sorry Aidan), being able to use that doppler to hear his heartbeat every time I passed more blood or fluid...well, it kept me sane. If he had died inside me I wanted to know it. And if he was alive, I wanted to know that too. It was the not knowing that would have done me in.

So, this time, Brian planned ahead and bought a doppler. He got it in the mail a few weeks ago and hid it from me so I wouldn't be tempted to try it out. Initially he said "let's wait until at least 11 or so weeks to try it". We heard Aidan's heartbeat at 9 weeks 4 days. Honestly, I think he had to hide it from himself more than me, because I knew he wouldn't be able to wait that long. So I wasn't surprised when I got home from work tonight and Brian almost immediately says "Do you want to try the doppler tonight!!"

Of course I want to...but I'm a little afraid that we won't hear anything. Will that make the anxiety worse? I mean, I know it's early...but still...what if we don't hear anything?

So of course, we try it anyway.

Pull it out.

Squirt the goo on and

....silence....silence....silence....

Then I say "try a little higher...I think my bladder's full"

and....sure enough...

Swish/swish/swish/swish/swish...

YEAH!!!!!

So I'm feeling happy tonight. I can confidently say as of 8:30pm on Thursday Acorn was alive with a heart rate somewhere in the 170s range.

*Whew*