My husband keeps bugging me to write a Christmas wish list. So here it is:
Dear Santa,
For this year I would like:
1. Aidan back, healthy and whole. I do not care how you accomplish this. If you need to turn back time, in the style of It's A Wonderful Life or One Magic Christmas, to late 2009 or early 2010 when his safe arrival was still possible, go ahead. It would also be okay with me if I awoke Christmas morning to find Aidan babbling away in the room that should have been his, or sitting in a bassinet under my tree wearing a tag that says "Love, Santa". Just as long as he comes back, I'm okay with however this is accomplished.
2. Okay, I realize the above is a tall order. Maybe too tall. So, if I cannot have Aidan back perhaps you could get me pregnant in time for Christmas. No, no, wait...uh...maybe you could have Brian get me pregnant in time for Christmas...yeah, sorry...kinda specific on that point. This, of course, should come with a guarantee that in 9 months we will have a healthy, take home, kind of baby.
3. Still too tall an order? Jeez...okay, well how about this...could you just use your omnipotent powers to figure out if we'll be able to conceive this next theoretical baby on our own, let say ooohhh I don't know, within the next 3-4 months? And if not, could you send me a really freaking obvious sign (my nose could light up like Rudolph's?) that we should funnel any and all Christmas funds into the pocket of my RE and see if she has better luck in the knocking me up department?
4. I know, I know, I'm getting greedy by this point...but seriously this last one's not for me. Could you help to put some Christmas cheer (that lasts all year!) in to the lives of my family. We're doing the best we can...but this year has been really hard on all of us. I really think my mom and my husband especially could use a little extra twinkle in their eyes.
Thank you.
Love,
Emily.
Wait, what?
Santa doesn't do these kind of requests? He only does materialistic crap that is made foreign sweatshops? Stuff that no one has need for and could definitely do without? Stuff that will eventually end up in the garbage piles of the world?
Oh.
I guess I'll just take a sweater then.
What are you asking for this Christmas?
I think Santa does do requests such as yours. I am hoping that he will grant your wish of being pregnant. I know that another pregnancy won't make your pain go away, but it will help you to heal. And you and your family need that healing. Im so sorry that Aiden us not here with you for Christmas.
ReplyDeleteIt would be so nice for all of us if there was a way to turn back time...I do hope at the very least you will get your pregnancy wish. The holidays are just so tough. I don't know how I would have managed last year if I didn't have my kids. Even then, it was still tough to put on a happy face for them.
ReplyDeleteBe good to yourself and don't do anything that you don't feel like doing just to please others.
May as well keep asking for our babies back. Maybe one day he'll come through with the goods.
ReplyDeletexo
I hope and pray your wishes come true. :-) Aidan is with you always and thats a gift in itself, but as for getting knocked up - many prayers and well wishes for you!
ReplyDeleteAs for me, all I want is a live full term baby and no bedrest for christmas.
I have the same requests that you do. I wouldn't care how it happened, but I want to have Jacob back, healthy and whole. That is all I really want. If I can't have that, it would have been nice if my current pregnancy had worked out instead of being a blighted ovum. Maybe Santa could give me an early gift and let me miscarry naturally today or tomorrow. I'd rather not have to take pills to "take care" of another failed pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteSince that seems impossible, it would be nice if my bicornuate uterus turns out to not be very severe and not affect any future pregnancies if we are lucky enough to get pregnant again.
If I can't have that either, I don't want to bring everyone else down on Christmas. I don't want to have to fake it through the whole season, I don't want to have to keep disappearing to cry and then waiting for my eyes to lose the red before I can join people again.
I hope with every fibre of my being that my sister doesn't lose the baby that she is pregnant with. That being said, I hope she hides her belly from me as much as possible. I also don't want to keep looking at her and her belly and even having to think that I hope that she never goes through what I've been going through. I wish that baby loss had never become such a part of my life because my 1.5 month old was lying happily in my arms right now.
I am hoping and praying that you can get pregnant easily and have an easy pregnancy.
You have pretty much summed up what I would like for Christmas. Since Lily is gone I'd like this FET cycle to be successful and a pregnancy at Christmas this year. And if that isn't possible money to go towards adoption in the future.
ReplyDeleteHoping that your wish of becoming pregnant soon and without intervention happens and that you have a blessedly uneventful pregnancy!
I feel the same. I would like to wake up one morning and realize that this was all a bad dream and to see Harper having sweet dreams in her crib. I dream about it actually. Since we are not "allowed" to even try until the new year, I would just like to get through the holidays and into 2011. I know it is crazy to wish time away but I am ready for a new start.
ReplyDeleteKeeping my fingers crossed for you and that you may be pregnant again really soon!
Looks like you've summed up very nicely what most of your readers want both for you and for themselves this Christmas. My MIL asked me last week what we want for Christmas and I had the hardest time thinking of ANYTHING! We don't need more stuff. We don't care about stuff. All we really want is a sweet little rainbow baby. Praying that your Christmas wish comes true! And soon!
ReplyDeleteI still need a proper list...
ReplyDeleteEmily, I wish you could get #1 on your Christmas list. I wish we could all have that. I really do hope that you can have the rest of what is on your list (I may have to steal the idea of wishing for my husband to be the one who gets pregnant instead of me).
ReplyDelete