Friday, August 12, 2011

Many Faces

One day less than 5 weeks.

So tomorrow is my baby shower with all my friends and family. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone and getting 'showered' with gifts for Kaia. But I know everyone will be asking how Kaia is doing? How am I doing? How is Brian doing? And I'm not exactly sure how to answer that in any 'short' version, because this is my life:

I had a baby (Happy face)
After a traumatic pregnancy where we thought she might die (Sad face)
Thankfully, she lived (Happy face)
But she's still in the NICU (Sad face)
She's doing pretty well though (Happy face)
But she's still needing oxygen (Sad face)
She's starting to do better at breastfeeding (Happy face)
But she will be in a Pavlik harness for months as she has congenital hip dysplasia (Sad face)
Her hip is fixable though (Happy face)
Although she might need surgery on it at some point (Sad face)
She's cute as a button and my heart sings when I see her (Happy face)
But I'm a bit frusterated and down that she's not home yet (Sad face)
Whatever happens though, I'm her mom and I feel very lucky to have her (Happy face)

Don't forget though, Kaia is not my first baby (Confused face?)
Kaia has a big brother, named Aidan (Happy face)
He was born prematurely last year and he died (Sad face)
We miss him very much (Cry face)
Monday will be one year since his due date (Sad face)
I should have a one year old, but I don't (Depressed face)

Also, my grandmother just died (Sad face)
She was old and had lived a long, fairly healthy, fairly happy life (Happy face)
We miss her very much (Sad face)
Kaia is her first (living) great-grand child (Happy face)
But they never got to meet (Sad face)

Brian and I are doing well (Happy face)
After 15 weeks of bed rest... (Sad face)
I am feeling pretty good and am happy to be living at home again (Happy face)
Of course, the hospital bill arrived our house the other day (Sad face)
While I'm glad I had the private room at the hospital as it made a huge difference... (Happy face)
It cost us over $2000 (!!! Sad face)
Our girl was worth it though (Happy face)
Now she just needs to learn to eat and get off oxygen so she can come home (Stressed face)
We have waited so long for her and we have so much love to give (Happy face)
We can't wait until she is home for good! (Happy, Excited, Joyful face).

So how are we doing? Um, short answer? We're okay. (Although I might have some nauseous face after the roller coaster ride that is my life).


  1. Here's an idea... Read this at the beginning ofthe shower while holding up "face signs" on Popsicle sticks. To make is showery add something about how you feel to have the people who you love celelbrate Kaia. If you do it in a fun spirited way, people will feel good that you shared this and understand all that you are going through. I love how creative you are!

  2. Sadie's idea is pretty much exactly what I was trying to figure out!!! While I was reading it, I was thinking it's too bad you can't have it all written out for people to hear, but her idea would be GREAT! It'd be just enough humor to handle the difficult parts for people to hear, light hearted enough to be comfortable, it's honest, it includes Aidan, and it would give everyone their answer =)

  3. Oh, and then record it and put in on here so we can see it =)

  4. I felt every emotion in this rollercoaster post. You've certainly been through some crushing highs and amazing lows, and all in such a short space of time. I agree with the others, read it out.

  5. Wishing you a fun shower day! So good to hear Kaia is doing better with the breastfeeding!!!

    You have been through an incredible amount in the past couple years - I hope people can understand that you aren't going to be all smiles and sunshine now that you have a living baby (though at least you now do have a really great reason for happy faces!)