Sunday, April 21, 2013

Imagining Three

"Aidan do you know what today is?"

"It's my birthday Mommy!"

"Yes, you're right it is my big boy!  Aidan, how old are you today?"

"I'm three!"

"Yes you are!  What are we going to do today for your birthday?"

"Go to the zoo!  I love the zoo!"

"Are we going to see the lions and tigers and gorillas and turtles?"

"Yes, and the Orange-tans too!"

"Orange-tans?  Oh right, yes, the O-RANG-U-tans, yes we can see the Orangutans too. Aidan, this is a very special day.  Three years ago you were born and you were so small.  See this picture here?  Yes, that's you.  Look at how tiny you were.  Tiny tiny feet, tiny tiny hands...tiny, tiny everything".

"I'm not tiny, tiny anymore....I'm a BIG boy, now!"

"That's true.  You are a big boy, now.  You're a big brother now too.  But three years ago, you were so, so small that you had to live in a warm plastic box for a long, long time until you were bigger and stronger.  You had tubes and wires going every which way.  Yes, see this picture?  Mommy would sit beside you and hold your little hand in mine and put my hand over your head to keep you calm and feeling safe".

"Why, Mommy?"

"Because you were so small Mommy couldn't always hold you. We had to wait a long time for you to get big and strong so you could come home.  Your doctors and your nurses and your RTs said they have never seen such a remarkable boy!  You did so well and surprised just about everyone!  Even me!"

"Even YOU?"

"Yes my baby boy.  It took you awhile, but you grew so well and got so strong and healthy, I could hardly believe it.  You barely even look like that tiny baby anymore.  Except for your feet and your nose, those look just the same.  Just like your Daddy's"

"Some day, I'm going to be as big as Daddy and drive the car, just like him!"

"That's right, you will. You're a big boy already who can run and jump and count to 10 and say his A, B, Cs!"

"A, B, C, D, E, F, G..."

"Yes Aidan, that's very good.  Okay, it's time to get your shoes on...time to go to the zoo!"


"Wait, Mommy needs a hug and a kiss from the birthday boy!"

"Love you Mommy."

"Love you too, Aidan."


Forever and Always my baby boy.


  1. Sweet, sweet post. If only ...
    Much love to you as you remember Aidan on his day.

  2. Love to you and your sweet boy.

  3. How I wish it had been so.

    Remembering your dear son, Aidan, especially on his birthday.

  4. Happy Birthday Aidan. Love to you and your mama.
    I can just about hear Reid saying "I'm 'free' years."

  5. Happy birthday Aidan. I wish you were going to the zoo today. Love to you and your family.

  6. So much love to you and your beautiful Aidan. I wish he were here to give you kisses and enjoy all the wonderful parts about being three.

  7. Sorry for my delated post. Happy birthday Aidan.

    And such a hard post... I wish it were real. I wish you had a big boy and a little girl. And I wish you were able to take your son to the zoo on his third birthday.

  8. This is the most heartbreaking post I've EVER read. If only, right?? Hugs.