tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post4106311654784183909..comments2023-09-18T08:07:15.353-04:00Comments on Aidan, Baby of Mine: Watch your languageEmilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17587287197734518952noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-88760552802298463992010-08-18T22:12:37.176-04:002010-08-18T22:12:37.176-04:00i, too, love the fact that you tell it like it is....i, too, love the fact that you tell it like it is. your directness is what keeps me coming back to your blog! the "slap in the face" is exactly what i'm going for sometimes - i don't WANT people to gloss over what happened to my son. he is DEAD - that fact is horrific, and i want people to realize it.<br /><br />i told my aunt and uncle what kristin had written on her blog about wanting a t-shirt that says something like, "be nice to me, my baby is dead," and i laughed when i told them - it's funny to me! - but they just looked mortified!Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13450929181331922606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-66234213521461168452010-08-15T10:11:12.804-04:002010-08-15T10:11:12.804-04:00i don't say 'dead baby', but only beca...i don't say 'dead baby', but only because we lost ours at 17 or 12 weeks (depends whether you mean when we found out or when it happened), and i never saw the remains, and it just doesn't feel quite accurate to call it a dead baby.<br /><br />in conversation with others i tend to say either the miscarriage, or our lost baby. which actually kind of feels more accurate. the remains were taken away immediately then put into storage for six weeks, then was cremated in a communal ceremony with other lost babies. the ashes were scattered at the crem without anything to do with the parents.<br /><br />yes, lost seems quite accurate.<br /><br />nearly nine months after my loss date, and 3.5 months after my due date, i'm still not pregnant. <br /><br />it sucks. it really does.<br /><br />sending hugs xBethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12523875341438470968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-4488745267298704522010-08-14T23:07:48.793-04:002010-08-14T23:07:48.793-04:00I usually refer to Jacob as dead too. That is what...I usually refer to Jacob as dead too. That is what he is, unfortunately. Sometimes I feel like I have to soften it for other people, which is kind of ridiculous, and I say that he passed away, but I prefer just to say that he died, that he is dead, etc.Danahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12860497122946287983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-13015779529784486382010-08-14T13:23:08.676-04:002010-08-14T13:23:08.676-04:00I always love your posts. You always say it like ...I always love your posts. You always say it like it is and convey so much of what I'm thinking or want to say. Thank you! <br /><br />In the beginning, I think I tried to sugar coat it a little more, unsure of what to say and trying to be sensitive to those around me. Even before I usually said 'passed away' when talking about someone who died. And in someways that works when I think about elderly people dying in their sleep. But when it comes to a baby that died, there is no 'passing away.' They shouldn't have died. <br /><br />In my 3 month journey, I know just say my son died. I've used 'dead baby' when I write my posts. Like you said, dead baby is a horrific term to hear, but I too 'like' it because it conveys the tragedy that much better.<br /><br />Thinking of you this weekend.Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09785882007350289786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-5708951259134119942010-08-13T15:03:31.626-04:002010-08-13T15:03:31.626-04:00I agree with you. I usually say the birth and dea...I agree with you. I usually say the birth and death of Acacia when talkind about my daughter - because that's what happened to me. She was born alive, and 2 1/2 days later, she died. I will say "dead baby." I agree that glossing it over doesn't help anyone, especially me. My life is not glossy right now, and won't be for some time. If people shudder for a moment, they will have but a small glimpse into my daily life.<br /><br />I also strongly dislike "born sleeping". I was just thinking the other day how confusing that would be to other siblings. And like you wrote, the fear it could create for them that falling asleep can kill you. YIKES!<br /><br />Thanks for sharing, and for being real.Big Love, Big Acceptance - or so I sayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03647121831668711451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-34851960331737807702010-08-13T13:40:04.600-04:002010-08-13T13:40:04.600-04:00I use "dead baby" or "my dead son,&...I use "dead baby" or "my dead son," too. "Dead baby" is not delicate or designed to spare feelings, but it's clear and gets right to the truth of the matter. And the truth of the matter is so harsh that there's no way to speak of it without upsetting anyone, so we may as well be clear. <br /><br />I'll be thinking of you this weekend, Emily. These milestones are just so hard.ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06347057746449071812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-38815870417863006302010-08-13T11:05:57.235-04:002010-08-13T11:05:57.235-04:00My thoughts are with you and will be this weekend....My thoughts are with you and will be this weekend. I too, was hoping to be pregnant by Wyatt's due date of 8/19, but that isn't happening. I think of you and your family often. <br />With love, MeganWyatt's Mommiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11319404957016434879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-18029383417835357692010-08-13T08:54:30.966-04:002010-08-13T08:54:30.966-04:00The first time I heard the term "deadbabymama...The first time I heard the term "deadbabymama," I winced. Lately, though, I've been using it, at least in the blogosphere. Why not call a spade a spade?loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com