tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post39185935401212009..comments2023-09-18T08:07:15.353-04:00Comments on Aidan, Baby of Mine: Motherhood FAILEmilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17587287197734518952noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-73446795152718445282010-11-28T07:16:33.004-05:002010-11-28T07:16:33.004-05:00I can so relate to this post - I have spent countl...I can so relate to this post - I have spent countless hours consumed by thoughts like these. <br /><br />I had my first miscarriage, which was so devastating to me - but then you tell yourself that miscarriages happen all the time, and the overwhelming odds are that the next pregnancy will be successful.<br /><br />So when the second pregnancy failed, thoughts about "motherhood fail" crept in, and have pretty much stayed with me ever since. Taking over a year to become pregnant a third time didn't help matters.<br /><br />But reaching the milestone of 3 miscarriages in a row was truly DEVASTATING. Now I was one of the statistics... and the numbers were not good.<br /><br />I know that logically, you "know" that losing Aidan was not your fault. But I also know that you still feel responsible. I know this, because I feel responsible for my miscarriages - even though, logically, I am aware I wasn't at fault.<br /><br />I wish there was something I could say to make it all better.<br /><br />((Big Hugs))Violet1122https://www.blogger.com/profile/05470143683967710014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-25174976169372803362010-11-27T08:41:15.121-05:002010-11-27T08:41:15.121-05:00Oh Emily (and Melissa and Anne), this was me on Th...Oh Emily (and Melissa and Anne), this was me on Thanksgiving...my baby died and it's my fault and even if the doctors say it wasn't my fault, I can then blame my body/cervix or even then blame what you stated in the post, that somehow I was destined to be an ineffective mom and now I have exhibit A. Uggh...the guilt! Even when my rational self knows, knows! that I couldn't have done anything better or different, my crazies tell me that I did it...exhibit A.<br /><br />Come back rational self, come back!Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11246142239742915169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-42118474480387818372010-11-27T00:13:44.086-05:002010-11-27T00:13:44.086-05:00I feel like all the bad things I ever did in my li...I feel like all the bad things I ever did in my life killed my baby. I feel like I wasn't ready to be a mom, financially or otherwise, and that's why she died. I feel like I'm being punished. We have tried 5 cycles now and nothing, which only confirms it more.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-60956565535217681772010-11-26T14:40:06.679-05:002010-11-26T14:40:06.679-05:00Ugh, this entire post is me and my fears and that ...Ugh, this entire post is me and my fears and that stupid voice in the back of my head.<br /><br />While I have never struggled with my health like you have, I was a real late bloomer, and my mom ragged on me constantly about things like starting my period at 14 or never sprouting ginormous (or much of any) boobs. I was a terrible tomboy and it was like I could never actually believe that my body or any part of me could get it in gear to be "woman" enough to succeed at making a baby.<br /><br />I remember being relieved at the 20 week scan that my baby had all of its requisite limbs and didn't look like some misshapen blob of failure, because that's what the little voice in my head was afraid of.<br /><br />Just turns out that my baby had his internal organs screwed up. Then I had a miscarriage. Then I spent a year TTC and failing. I haven't ovulated since July, despite taking Clomid.<br /><br />I feel like that little deep fear is sort of a little devil on my shoulder holding a megaphone and pointing at charts that list all my colossal failures, and how could I possibly think this would ever work.<br /><br />Ugh. Sorry for dumping.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13373156081536011519noreply@blogger.com