tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post2104051458657222940..comments2023-09-18T08:07:15.353-04:00Comments on Aidan, Baby of Mine: Resuscitating Old MemoriesEmilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17587287197734518952noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-30646185782208065502012-10-07T21:24:28.055-04:002012-10-07T21:24:28.055-04:00I skipped over chapter nine when I had to take my ...I skipped over chapter nine when I had to take my NRP. I also had that thought of Adrian not suffering being the most important thing. (for me Save him did not apply at 20 weeks). Hard one, coping with flashbacks. The NRP book is so clinical, so cold. Medicine, the way we learn it, is clinical and cold. It is the way we apply it that makes it human. And I could never be cold again with any mother in the situation that we have been in. (I don't know if I ever was, but certainly I could not now). MrsHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18277631338883839373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-40133865351751286362012-10-01T08:54:03.124-04:002012-10-01T08:54:03.124-04:00You are brave. The thought of being anywhere near ...You are brave. The thought of being anywhere near any ICU anytime soon is enough to make me sick. :( <br /><br />We didn't really have a lot of choice... The prognosis for Jack was never favourable once the neurologists had looked at his scans... I would like to think we made the best "choice" in his aftercare when it came to the organ donation thing (if for no other reason than we had just a few more days with him than if we had been sent home that say day as we were told he wouldn't make it. It was abrupt enough, I can't even fathom...). Of all the things I regret about losing Jack, the decision to remove support wasn't one of them. <br /><br />Sorry you had flashbacks, I'm sure this isn't the easiest thing to do. Lj82https://www.blogger.com/profile/01067562341189588336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-16438285237303951122012-09-30T21:58:26.153-04:002012-09-30T21:58:26.153-04:00I loved this post. I graduated as an RN in June a...I loved this post. I graduated as an RN in June and I precepted in a NICU this past spring. I am extremely familiar with the NRP manual. One of the things that I took comfort in during my training was how much simpler it is on the medical side of things. I attended a few emergency deliveries and they were very different than they were when I was the one strapped to the operating room table. I had never entered a NICU before my son was in one and my fascination with NICUs began after he died. It was therapeutic for me in many ways, but a few things gave me flashbacks. It was a different hospital but the vents were the same/made the same sounds. One baby was having a pretty bad apnea episode and I was able to bag her (she was already pinking up, had normal sats and my preceptor kept her hand right by mine--lest any parents think a child's life was left in the hands of a student). I remembered what it was like to watch my son have an apnea episode that turned him gray in two seconds and I'd just be standing there, not able to help. It was great to feel that this one time I could help (well..."help" would be more like it). This one time I was charting and monitoring sats and bagging and no one tried to lead me to a chair across the room. I admire you for choosing to go back to the NICU after the loss of your son. I'm not sure if I'll ever get to work with preemies because I am moving to an area where there aren't any NICUs for the time being, but I do wonder if I will someday. Reesehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15141795717597267116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-70826188458730764522012-09-29T22:14:42.396-04:002012-09-29T22:14:42.396-04:00Just wanted to comment that this entry is beautifu...Just wanted to comment that this entry is beautiful and so heartfelt. I think you are onto something when you talk about your gut telling you that resuscitation would not have worked for your sweet boy. I dont know whether you believe in God or not but I often think that in those moments, he truly guides us to make the right decision. I wanted so badly to have a c-section with Dash, I didn't want to go through the hours (days) of laboring with him knowing I would be delivering him stillborn. In the end I am so glad that I was "forced" to labor naturally as I spent those days in the hospital bed praying, crying and talking to him, really processing everything that was happening. There are so many what ifs and could haves when it comes to losing a child, but I think the bottom line is that we loved and still love our babies to the ends of the earth and we did everything in our power to protect them. I dont know how you do what you do (working in the NICU) but thank you for ALL that you do for those families <3The Griegershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17928452544060203346noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-79717505343516165342012-09-28T22:41:08.122-04:002012-09-28T22:41:08.122-04:00We decided, along with the neonatologist at your h...We decided, along with the neonatologist at your hospital that Xavier was too sick to have a quality of life. We signed a DNR and had his ventilator removed. <br /><br />Last night we were watching Grey's Anatomy. ***Spoiler Alert** if you watch...McSteamy died. They removed his vent. As the doctor was explaining what would happen afterwards,and how they were told he could either go fast or slowly, my husband piped up with "I've heard the same things told to me". <br /><br />I question my decision to have him taken off his vent so quickly...I wonder if I could have taken my time, so that it wasn't all so abrupt. Time to get used to the fact he was going to die, you know?? But I was scared, scared he would recover enough to breathe on his own and not much else...I am ashamed to admit that, but there you have it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com