tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post1509019926181636930..comments2023-09-18T08:07:15.353-04:00Comments on Aidan, Baby of Mine: Three monthsEmilyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17587287197734518952noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-26780553587461440802010-07-23T21:23:29.936-04:002010-07-23T21:23:29.936-04:00the past, present and future all seem to hurt equa...the past, present and future all seem to hurt equally these days. often i find myself wishing i could go back instead of forward. a lot of times wishing i could skip the entire thirty-seven weeks of pregnancy all together. skip back to the days of being silly and young and fun. not this new person i am today.<br /><br />deep down i know the future can be great. that there are so many more wonderful things life can offer me and all of us – but as you said – avoiding it is so much easier. soooo much easier.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-61226390888778416242010-07-23T14:34:53.313-04:002010-07-23T14:34:53.313-04:00Sending hugs your way. Congrats on getting this ne...Sending hugs your way. Congrats on getting this new position.Marie Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18203552551406512142noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-74772356887956415872010-07-22T21:29:47.470-04:002010-07-22T21:29:47.470-04:00I can't picture the future. I feel like I'...I can't picture the future. I feel like I'm stuck in the mire, and I can't deal with anything else except what's keeping me stuck.<br /><br />I fear I will always be stuck.<br /><br />I've changed a lot, personality-wise. I used to be pretty positive and confident. Not any more. <br /><br />On a happier note - the new job sounds like it will be a pretty good thing. Apart from not seeing your DH as much, of course.Violet1122https://www.blogger.com/profile/05470143683967710014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-10336458538289262462010-07-22T17:41:13.015-04:002010-07-22T17:41:13.015-04:00the idea of planning for the future doesn't bo...the idea of planning for the future doesn't bother me but i have no interest in it anymore.<br /><br />my personality.... deep down i'm the same person, but there is a huge fluffy layer on top of me, holding me down.<br /><br />i don't like it. i want the grief to be done by now. it's been eight months on sunday. shouldn't this be over? can't i pack it away in a nice neat box now? <br /><br />apparently not. <br /><br />i understand that intellectually, but not in other ways.Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12523875341438470968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-29119055138625429602010-07-22T16:50:25.421-04:002010-07-22T16:50:25.421-04:00Thinking of you and Aidan. I still tend to look a...Thinking of you and Aidan. I still tend to look at the future in only small increments most of the time. I plan a little more now but somehow I feel like when I plan too much I'm tempting fate.<br /><br />I hope the new job turns out to be good and interesting and that your coworkers are kind.ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06347057746449071812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-59993231844250863812010-07-22T15:02:48.997-04:002010-07-22T15:02:48.997-04:00I HAVE to keep planning for the future because the...I HAVE to keep planning for the future because the present and the past make me want to cry. I feel like if I want to remain sane, I MUST plan and hope for a better tomorrow.<br /><br />I think personality-wise, I am a LOT more relaxed as far as "drama" goes. I think I used to have a pretty fiesty personality; it was easy to get me riled up. That hasn't died, but I am definitely not as easily ruffled now. I think a whole lot more before I react to situations. I'm a lot calmer.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-74082782377817470612010-07-22T09:29:56.009-04:002010-07-22T09:29:56.009-04:00Thinking of you and Aidan.
Your post coincided wi...Thinking of you and Aidan.<br /><br />Your post coincided with some thoughts I have been having recently. I've realized that I don't think about the future much. I am also a planner, I have been picking out baby names since I was a kid, I always planned for things in the future. Now I just don't do that. I can't think ahead more than a day or two, unless it is a doctor's appointment that somehow involves Jacob, but I don't have any of those lined up right now. We are moving at the end of August and I can't even plan ahead for that. <br /><br />I am dreading Jacob's due date, Thanksgiving, Christmas etc. We were supposed to have a baby for the holidays this year. There is even an event at work on Sept 20th that was supposed to be the last big event I work on before my maternity leave. How can I not be hugely pregnant at that event now? I know it is coming up, and I have to plan some things for it, but it is hard to imagine myself there, so I don't.<br /><br />I have also had smaller things disappoint me and I wonder how I can let them disappoint me. I have had the ultimate disappointment of my baby dying. How can I be upset if someone doesn't call me when she says she will? When we found out that Jacob had died, I thought to myself that never will anything disappoint me again because nothing could touch the pain I was feeling/feel. But, here I am, being disappointed by small things again. I almost feel guilty about it. Although I have become stronger through all this, I also feel more fragile.Danahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12860497122946287983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-39246764072969616192010-07-22T01:36:27.528-04:002010-07-22T01:36:27.528-04:00I'm with you. No thinking about the future be...I'm with you. No thinking about the future because it sends me into a panic. One day at a time is the way for me right now. <br /><br />Love to you and Aidan on his three month birthday.Angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14426410846093760653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-176061010619490822.post-25204499513568609882010-07-22T00:09:16.805-04:002010-07-22T00:09:16.805-04:00I didn't realize we had the same due date (8/1...I didn't realize we had the same due date (8/15). Thinking of you on Aidan's three month "birthday."<br /><br />XoxoKristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10703555360428565958noreply@blogger.com